Monday 27 February 2017

I live in the shadow of my mother’s dementia, it haunts me.

I live in the shadow of my mother’s dementia, it haunts me. 

I have passed the age when my mother’s dementia started to show. I have a lighthearted silly side to my nature. I keep asking myself, is it a sign as I have a playful moment and tease my students in class. I play the fool, maybe I am a fool. I lose words, they float away, oh yes, they come back but not at the moment that I need them, they return a day late. And what was I  saying?  And have I already mentioned I had lunch with Mary? Or was it Judith? I think my memory is getting worse. 

Have I always been like this or has my forgetfulness crept up on me? Is it inherited? Should I get myself tested? Yes, I am frightened, not of dying, of my mind dying.

I live in the shadows of my mother’s dementia.